We make You Laugh by Hook or Crook
Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you controlyour anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
Husband: How does that help?Wife: I use your toothbrush.
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There was a good old barber in Bangalore. One day a
florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am
doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, there is a “Thank You” Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to
pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, there is another “Thank you” Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, guess what he finds there……
Scroll down for answer… . . . . . . .. . . . …
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(Believe me it’s worth it!!!!!!!!!! )
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free
haircut… with Printouts of
Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut. 
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An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped
him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant
my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because
your mother always loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be
over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren’t in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: “For Heaven’s sake, Dad,
don’t dig up the garden!! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!” At 4 a.m.
the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police
officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any
guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what
happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son’s reply was: “Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It’s the
best I could do for you from here.”
Moral:
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO
SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT
MATTERS.. NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS ..
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It is my first year engineering semester exam days we are preparing hard for exams i used to stay in our college hostel and Seshu babu sir is the incharge of the our college and the hostel.
one evening iam preparing for forth coming exams sitting in the coridor in a chair along with our friends its a study hour in our hostel,iam studying serioulsy in suddenly i saw seshu babu sir coming straight to our batch through the way beside me he suddenly stopped beside me and grabbed the seven up bottle that i kept beside me which was filled with drinking water and he had a sip of water and he stared for a second at me then he said like this ” Pawan you have cheated me” , wondering what i did i am thinking whats the wrong i did in the recent times,how do i would have cheated him.all of my friends are also seriously observing whats the discussion going in between us and they are also trying to guess how do i cheated him,i thought a week back i have gone for a movie insted of going for a movie after having haircut for which we have taken the permission,all my friends even thought the same,all of us thought that is how i would have cheated him.
After pushing us to think for a while how do i cheated him he said ” Pawan i thought its really seven up is there in that bottle that is why i drank that but its water that is how i was cheated”.god i just relaxed for i while and also we have a good laugh for a long time and also we used to laugh often remembering this joke,but we used to share the joy with all my frineds when i was in my engg but i have only my blog readers that is why i though to share my favourite person Mr.Seshu babu’s jokes Series. keep laughing and keep reading my blog
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Two little boys, aged 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
“Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
“Where is God?!”
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “Boss we are in BIG trouble this time.”
(”I just LOVE reading next line again and again”)
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“GOD is missing, and they think we did it!”
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Weight Loss Program:
There’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a
voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair
of Nike
running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a
representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads: “If you
can catch me,
you
can have me.” Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few
miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his
way with her. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the
same thing
happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find
he has
lost 10lbs., as promised. He then calls the company and orders their
5-day/20 pound program. The next day there’s a knock at the door and
there
stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in
his life.
She
is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her
neck
that reads: “If you catch me you can have me.” Well, he’s out the
door after
her
like a shot! This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while
to
catch her; but when he does, it’s definitely worth every muscle cramp
and
wheeze,
so for the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his
delight,
on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost
another 20lb., as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the
company to order the
7-day/50 pound program. “Are you sure?” asks the representative on
the phone, This
is
our most rigorous program.” “Absolutely,” he replies,” I haven’t felt
this
good in years.”
The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it, he
finds this huge, muscular, 7 ft man standing there, wearing nothing
but
pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read: “I’m Johnny.
If I catch you, you’re mine……..”
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Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In
its place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that
there was nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with
it.
All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who saw
the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house and
thus, never made any friends.
One day, while surfing the internet, he learned of a swami in Tibet
that could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next
day he took his life’s savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant
monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told to
sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day
when he awoke, the screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the
night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window,
bearing in its mist, a golden screwdriver. In just moments, the
screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out of the window.
The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the golden screw laying
on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and
there was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, but in
seconds, his butt fell off.
The moral to this is:
Don’t screw around with things you don’t understand or you’ll lose
your butt.
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For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married,
or wish you weren’t married, this is something to smile about the
next time you see a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern
Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of
the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car
and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent
nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey,
Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo
woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed
a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
“What in bag?” asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, “It’s a bottle of wine.
I got it for my husband..”
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two … then
speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
“Good trade …”
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish, too. But he leaned over too much,
fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a while but
then smiled “Wow! It really works!”
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The Amazing Claude
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the Amazing
Claude
was
topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed
hypnotist
do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he
announced, “Unlike
most
hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a
trance, I
intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.”
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
antique
pocket watch from
his coat. “I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It’s
a
very special watch. It’s been in my family for six generations.”
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
chanting,
“Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch…”
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light
gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch as The Amazing
Claude
continued,
“You are getting sleepy…sleepy… you are now under my power..”
Until, suddenly, the watch slipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and
fell to
the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
“Shit” said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the senior center.
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