Monthly Archive for July, 2008

CO-INCIDENCE / BELIVE IT OR NOT - Kamal Hasan

1) In 1978, his tamil movie “Sivappu Rojakal” got released. He played the  role
of a Psychopath killer . One year later, a guy called Psycho Raman was
caught for brutally murdering people

2) In 1988, kamal played the role of a unemployed youth in the movie
“Sathya”. In 89-90’s our country faced lot of problems due to
unemployment.

3) In 1992, his blockbuster movie “Devar Magan” got released. Its a
village based subject. There will be some scenes portraying communal
clashes. Exactly a year later in 1993, there were many communal clashes in
southern districts.

4) We all know in 1996 many people in our country was cheated by finance
companies. Our Kamal Hasan has clearly depicted this in his movie
“mahanadhi” which got released in 1994 itself.

5) In “Heyram”(2000), there are some scenes relating to Hindu Muslim
clashes . We all know 2 years later, godhra(Gujarat riots) incident
happened.

6) He used a word called ‘tsunami’ in his movie “Anbesivam”(2003).The word
‘tsunami’ was not known to many people before. In 2004, ‘tsunami’ stuck
the east coast of our country and many people lost their lives.

7) In his latest movie “Vettaiyadu Vilayadu “(2006) there are two
characters called ila&amudhan who played the roles of psychopath killers.
After 3 months of release of the movie, the noida serial killing came to
light
(moninder/sathish)

And to add another point to the seven below,
8) He shows the outbreak of a biological weapon(virus/vial) in Tamil nadu
–Dasavatharam(2008)

God save TN(Tamil Nadu)

 

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Fun News part-3

11. Santa: Murge kaise diye?
Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?
Vendor: Sir ise AIDS hai.
Santa: De do mujhe … khana hai, gaand thode hi marni hai!

12. Santa standing in balcony without shirt.
Banta, “Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.
Santa, ” yah to kuch nahi andar ja ke apni BHABI KE dekh.

13. Santa runing after a Bus, catches it n asks the Driver:”Ye bus teri Ma
lagti hai?”
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To kya Behan lagti hai?
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?

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Rob Met St.Peter in Heaven and Became a Hen

          Rob kissed his wife, crawled into bed and fell asleep. All of a
sudden, he woke up to find an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing
at the foot of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? And who
are you? “He asked. “This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St.
Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT! Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want
to die! I’m too young,” said Rob. “I want you to send me back immediately.”
“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter. “You can only return as a dog or a
hen. The choice is yours.” Rob thought about it for a while, and figured
that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed
life. “I want to return as a hen.” And in the next second, he found himself
in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear
end was gonna blow. Then along came another hen “Hey, you must be the new
hen St. Peter told me about,” she said. “How do you like being a hen?”
“Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode.” “Oh
that!” said the other hen. “That’s only the ovulation going on. You need to
lay an egg.” “How do I do that?” Rob asked. “Cluck twice, and then push all
you can.” Rob clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then
‘plop’ an egg was on the ground. “Wow” Rob said, “That felt really good!”
So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was
another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife
shout: “Rob, for Christ’s sake! Wake up! You’re shittin’ all over the bed!”

 

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Funny News part-2

1. Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khul dekh Ladkiyan zor se
hasnelagi.
Masterji bole : Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.

2. Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

3. Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for
identification parade.
When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: “Yahi  thee,
Yahi thee”

4. Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Banta : She doesn’t satisfy me in bed!
Preeto: Tu yaha ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai, ik
tamari agg  nahin bujati.

5.Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing
Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom
saath le jaa rahi hai.

6. Pappu meets papa Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.
Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe
jaate!

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Fun News part-1

1.Signboard outside a prostitute’s house: Married MEN not allowed.
We serve the needy, not the greedy…

2.Yesterday’s news : An aunty was raped while jogging.
Today’s news: More aunties found jogging.

3.  How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?
By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE(Please fuck from back)

4. Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they
appear from outside.

 

 

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Best Interview Questions and Answers


Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?

A. No Problems, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank )

Interviewer said “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!” The boy thought for awhile and said,” my choice is one really difficult question.”

“Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.

“What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, “It’s the DAY sir!”

“How” the interviewer asked,
“Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

He was selected for IIM!

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Who is going to Heaven Priest or doctor or Software Engineer ?

A Priest, a Doctor and an IT professional die and go to heaven, they hear God’s voice and it says:
” My dear sons I am really very sorry but the heaven is full and I can accommodate only one of u, so to choose the right person, one by one tell me what u have done in your lifetime.
“The Priest goes up first and says “well God I’m a priest, I am u r humble servant and have spent all my life working to spread your message.”

The Doctor goes up next and says “well I’m a doctor and I have helped thousands of people recover from their illnesses”

The IT professional goes up says “well I worked in IT and……..”,
before he could say anything further, the heaven’s gates opened and God came with tears in his eyes and said to him

 

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Facts of our Life

 ’To make money we lose our health and then to restore our health we lose money.
 We live as if we are never going to die and we die as if we never lived’

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Roles in a Software company

1)   Project Manager is a Person who thinks Nine women can deliver a baby in  One month.                                                                
                                                                           
                                                                           
 2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a   
 baby.                                                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine     
 babies in one month.                                                      
                                                                           
                                                                           
 4) Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.                
                                                                           
                                                                           
 5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if 
 no man and woman are available.                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman;      
 they’ll produce a child with zero resources.                              
                                                                           
                                                                           
 7) Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is         
 delivered, they’ll just document months.                                  
                                                                           
                                                                           
 8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to   
 produce a baby.                                                           

 

 

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‘A Leader Should Know How to Manage Failure’ - APJ Abdul Kalam

India Knowledge@Wharton: Could you give an example, from your own experience, of how leaders should manage failure?


Kalam: Let me tell you about my experience. In 1973 I became the project director of India ’s satellite launch vehicle program, commonly called the SLV-3. Our goal was to put India ’s “Rohini” satellite into orbit by 1980. I was given funds and human resources — but was told clearly that by 1980 we had to launch the satellite into space. Thousands of people worked together in scientific and technical teams towards that goal.

By 1979 — I think the month was August — we thought we were ready. As the project director, I went to the control center for the launch. At four minutes before the satellite launch, the computer began to go through the checklist of items that needed to be checked. One minute later, the computer program put the launch on hold; the display showed that some control components were not in order. My experts — I had four or five of them with me — told me not to worry; they had done their calculations and there was enough reserve fuel. So I bypassed the computer, switched to manual mode, and launched the rocket. In the first stage, everything worked fine. In the second stage, a problem developed. Instead of the satellite going into orbit, the whole rocket system plunged into the Bay of Bengal . It was a big failure.

That day, the chairman of the Indian Space Research Organization, Prof. Satish Dhawan, had called a press conference. The launch was at 7:00 am, and the press conference — where journalists from around the world were present — was at 7:45 am at ISRO’s satellite launch range in Sriharikota [in Andhra Pradesh in southern India ]. Prof. Dhawan, the leader of the organization, conducted the press conference himself. He took responsibility for the failure — he said that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support. He assured the media that in another year, the team would definitely succeed. Now, I was the project director, and it was my failure, but instead, he took responsibility for the failure as chairman of the organization.

The next year, in July 1980, we tried again to launch the satellite — and this time we succeeded. The whole nation was jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. Prof. Dhawan called me aside and told me, “You conduct the press conference today.”

I learned a very important lesson that day. When failure occurred, the leader of the organization owned that failure. When success came, he gave it to his team. The best management lesson I have learned did not come to me from reading a book; it came from that experience.

 

 

Don’t give up, there’s nothing wrong with just being yourself; That’s more than enough!

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