Jokes

what’s if you do not Cancel your credit card before you die

Cancel your credit card before you die  

Now some Banks and financial institutes have become really stupid!!!!

They don’t leave you if you have a credit relation with them even you die and hence
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.  

Most of the banks which are said to be world’s best and biggest banks Banks/Financial Intuitions are in heavy losses and trying to gain as much as possible form the customer.

Not only form the one alive also form the people who dead keeping the credit account open with zero balance.

Also the customer service has become very funny and stupid.


A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the conversation:

Family Member:    ’I am calling to tell you she died back in January.’

Citibank:   ‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’  

Family Member: ‘Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.’

Citibank: ‘Since it is two months past due, it already has been.’

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’  

Citibank: ‘Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!’

Family Member: ‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’
Citibank: ‘Excuse me?’

Family Member: ‘Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?’

Citibank: ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’
Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.’

Citibank: ‘The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.’  
Family Member: ‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’

Citibank: (Stammer) ‘Are you her lawyer?’

Family Member: ‘No, I’m her great nephew.’ (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank:  ’Could you fax us a certificate of death?’

Family Member: ‘Sure.’ (Fax number was given)

After they get the fax :

Citibank: ‘Our system just isn’t setup for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’

Family Member: ‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won’t care.’

Citibank: ‘Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.’  

(What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member: ‘Would you like her new billing address?’

Citibank: ‘That might help…’

Family Member: ‘Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.’
Citibank: ‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’  
 
Family Member: ‘And what do you do with dead people on your planet???’

(Priceless!!)  
                                    You wondered why Citi is going broke and need the feds to bail them out!!

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Funny News part-2

1. Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khul dekh Ladkiyan zor se
hasnelagi.
Masterji bole : Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.

2. Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

3. Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for
identification parade.
When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: “Yahi  thee,
Yahi thee”

4. Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Banta : She doesn’t satisfy me in bed!
Preeto: Tu yaha ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai, ik
tamari agg  nahin bujati.

5.Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing
Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom
saath le jaa rahi hai.

6. Pappu meets papa Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.
Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe
jaate!

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Be careful while sending mails if not mishaps like this one


  
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room. So he decided to send an E-MAIL to his wife.

However he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address and without realising his error, he sent the message. Meanwhile,

somewhere a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her mail,

expecting message from her relatives and friends.; After reading the first message she fainted.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife
Subject: I’ve just reached
Date: 13th oct 2006

I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to sent e-mails to your loved ones.

I’ve just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you.

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was;

MORAL  OF STORY - be careful while sending mails if not mishaps like these happen ..


 

 

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Sardar checking how he looks while sleeping in mirror

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
Wife: What you are doing?
Sardar: I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

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Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says “Chin Yu Yan” and dies.
Sardar goes to China to find meaning of friends last words.
It is “You are standing on the oxygen tube!”

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Sardar’s are searching for dead bodies

Sardar news: A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab. Local
sardars have so far found 500 >bodies and are still digging for more.

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Sardar at an Art Gallery

Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

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Who cannot find eleven(11) on phone

Why can’t sardars dial Nine-Eleven (911) at emergency?
They cannot find the eleven on the phone.

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Sardar’s essay on Cricket match

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote:
“Due To Rain, No Match!”

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What will come first, chicken or egg?

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

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